Scared
by DarioD
Summary: A Slayerdramon/Arukadhimon oneshot. Digimon is a property of Bandai and Toei Animation.


**"Scared"**

I look fixedly at her ruby eyes. Lost to the words Arukadhimon referenced in relation to me, striking me into complete shock.

We both gaze at each other in solace. Yet the pieces in truth in silence hold wonder of our relationship.

The verse was out; she knew what I was feeling. What I've been suppressing for so long that I tried to forget about our separation. She understands now, she realizes the fear I craved within.

Worried about the distance, concerns for our cooperation; our bond together as a couple. Spending time with her has been scarce.

Devoid of quality time with Arukadhimon didn't bother as much, until now. The days have me sidetracked on many important events that we don't say a word or even a hug. By the time I get home, we just lay in silence.

I was clearly oblivious that less time with her was slowly killing her and me subtly. It shows how much of a lousy husband I have been so far.

**"Slayerdramon"**

Her dead tone awakes me from rapture. I truly missed her beautiful voice she uses all the time we speak. I also recall to just be mesmerized by her ruby red eyes, the red leads me into comfort.

Now the eyes lay dark, signifying passionless. The tone doesn't love anymore, its bleak. Her heart has become dead, crushed with no hope to come back.

**"Scared, of where we are"**

That line she asserts towards me touches me deeply. She's in fact quite aware that were dying. Emotions stir deep inside for it was uncontrollable.

I can't win her back; she's already made up her mind about us, the poor me remain ignorant due to being occupied lead us to this.

The fault is my own. I was clearly an oblivious motherfucker for not wondering, the indecision for not caring or even saying one word to her.

Realization kicks in; I was scared the whole time, completely afraid of our marriage, afraid of our time together, afraid of her. I am scared of Arukadhimon, the women I fell in love with, I fear the most.

My business was my shelter; I was hiding in my chores, in order to not face the one I care. All because to scared for she may not like me.

Too frightened to speak to her, for she may not like me as a being, or find me interesting. But how come she fell for me in the end? How come she likes me for I have little personality?

However in reality, I let this happen subconsciously without a clue where it was going. It shows how much of a being, matter a fact a lover I've been.

Pain crawls in all parts in a period. Tempestuous motive into freefall leaks gently. I got myself to blame for this, to which guilt in sorrow is my deliverance.

Strong urge to let go and beg for my forgiveness dwell impulse, to give me a chance to give my side of the story, to at least fix this. To straight off start all over as a new being for her.

I have to answer the question. Am I'm _**"scared"**_. Afraid of her for grounds she feel certain about the problems I created.

Second thoughts break in to tell otherwise. Yet the chest isn't cleared inside. The walls are about to burst from the affliction, the awakening in that senseless caring became the norm for me.

I'm suffocating. Disgraced of who I am, sick of hiding. Hyperventilating over the cold reality; desperately searching all avenues to pay dirt.

The waterworks surface, no turning back, it was unavoidable for now. Shear breakdown is not remote.

I had to break the surface. And upon stuttering reflection; I finally gave an answer to her inquest.

_**"**__**I'm scared."**_

Brief I replied, every sentence bring to naught dashed hopes. I gave one long stair at Arukadhimon, to witness her take on my deliverance.

Ever glance made me closer to fade away even more, made me think about the past to search for the passion once more.

The beautiful digimon I loved come to be bereft of life. My answer did nothing but a tap to her conclusion.

She finally knows how I feel. Now I worry about what she's going to respond.

Seconds pass, a minute was inches away, with that a tear pours down my check. I'm very terrified from dead air she is. So scared of her answer?

The quietude broke as her words spoke dishearten alarm.

**"****Um, where are you?"**

**"****Where have YOU been?"**

Now I lay frozen; again caught offhand due to those remarks. I couldn't regain sanity as the horror let have another insight.

Recognition draws further inside, showing more of who I am. Or what I've become.

I act lost, I let myself disappear from Arukadhimon, be reduced to a shadow around my love. In most at heart, I just gave up as a being.

Guilt appears in all forms, lamenting on my suffering, and my mistakes of being adrift. The distress hold firm that every barrier for confidence has turn to nothing.

Finally giving in, the blues shattered the silence. Tears of passion, roars with sorrow, rain down desperate. I broke down because of realizing proof that I've been corrupted.

I am nothing; bar none in personality at whole. I'm just confused through and through.

Crying was all I could do, pleading in vain for some kind of redemption for this. However, this was far deeper for a simple fix.

Showing me; my essence, the problems I have procreated throughout our marriage.

What can I say? How can I help her? How can I help myself, what is there to do; what can I do?

I continue to bawl, losing all I have believed or any reason of a retry. Everything is shattered, broken, and slinked into the river below.

All the strength I could muster was to tell her. Let her know how I feel; informing the chaos I dwell under a roof. At least say one word directly to her.

With force, pore over to Arukadhimon with affecting lachryma, looking at the frozen face coupled with little bits of drops ebbing down gently.

It was clear that she feels ominous, redoubtable about me. Abandoned whatever expectancy regarding make up; specifically part of the morass is lack of trust of me.

But her tenderness is crushed about all this.

With every sniffle, I sue upon to my dear with an apology. An immersed woe burst out for correction, a chance at this again.

Breaking down in all aspects, agony subsists taking it hard from serving as elsewhere; together with in the dark for a long time.

This mess is unstoppable, I done way too much, I think this grieving is what I deserve.

My ticket is not revising, but to go down; to be reduced to nothing, contemplate that I am particles. Besides, I can't brace the sadness of this. I'm so tired.

Like mad, wailing merciless on Arukadhimon, who seems so played out of the lies, so weary of the invisible wounds we lay upon. In outright declension, I express with all despair, forgiveness.

_**"**__**I'm Sorry".**_

The words were broken whereas defense was to open her mind. However all trough the interval, I screamed in distress towards her, still witnessing to the cold monster I have place that was lost in transition; and unmindful inspiration.


End file.
